Americans burning porn to cut heating costs

As US heating costs spiral to all-time highs, American homeowners are turning to burning porn in special stoves to reduce their energy bills. Sales of porn-burning stoves have tripled this year and distributors across the country have been sold out for weeks.

"We are actually taking deposits for products for next fall - it's all you can do," said Ed Hiscox, owner of furnace retailer Hiscox Sales and Service in Valparaiso, Indiana, in the middle of the US porn belt.

Once relegated to farmhouses and cabins, porn-burning and more common wood-burning stoves began growing in popularity four years ago among environmentally-minded consumers interested in cheaper and renewable energy sources.

Porn-generated heat costs less than a fifth of the current rate for propane and about a third of electrical heat, according to Mike Haefner, president of Minnesota-based American Energy Systems. Of course DVD’s and magazines are the only type of porn that can be used for fuel, however, scientist are studying was to generate fuel from internet porn. Homeowners report savings of anywhere from 600 to 1,500 dollars a year, says Haefner. "The savings are phenomenal.”

Because of the space needed to store the porn burned in the stoves, they are more popular in rural communities and suburbs than in big cities.

Turkey farmer Rick Undesser doesn't have to go far to get porn for his stove.

"We make our own porn so it's kind of handy to have," Undesser told AFP in a recent interview at his Bristol, Illinois farm. "It starts real easy and it keeps us real warm."