A certain man had two sons:
12And the eldest of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me. And he divided unto them his living.
13And not many days after the elder son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country which was called Hawaii, and there wasted his substance with riotous living.
14And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty cost of living in that land; and he began to be in want.
15And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country; and he sent him into his stores to be a security guard.
16And he would fain have covered his belly with the shirts that the locals did buy: and no man gave unto him.
17And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father's have meat-loaf enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!
18I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee,
19And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants.
20And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and drove his Dodge Colt out to meet him, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.
21And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son.
22But the father said to his wife, Bring forth the best sweater, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet:
23And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it and make meat-loaf; and let us eat, and be merry:
24For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry.
25Now his youngest son was working in the local hotel: and as he came and drew nigh to the house, he heard music and dancing and police scanners.
26And he called one of the neighbors, and asked what these things meant.
27And he said unto him, Thy brother is come; and thy father hath killed the fatted calf and thy mother hath made meat-loaf, because he hath received him safe and sound.
28And he was angry, and would not go in: therefore came his father in his Dodge Colt out, picked him up.
29And he answering said to his father, Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest me meat-loaf , that I might make merry with my friends: All thou hast given me has been old popsicles from the freezer.
30But as soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots in Hawaii, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf and hath made meat-loaf.
31And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine, including my collection of commemorative Presidential plates.
32It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found.
-Welcome back Will